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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She creates vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can get us: an opening. I understand not all people likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private filmmaker, but friends help each other in minor capacities. I thought filming a clip here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She needs to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?